The Long Goodbye...

I don't know why I waited for 14 years after the love was gone.  But, I did.
Was it fear that made me stay?  Was is hope?
I was afraid to leave.  I still am.
I kept hoping he would change back into the man I thought I married.  Now, I realize THIS is the man I married.  The other guy was just an image he used to get me.  Ugh.
I'm seeing a therapist who stated at my first appointment, over a year ago that she would help me get my power back.  I didn't know what she meant at the time.
Power.  I have power?  Power to do what?
Leave.  
I'm raising two granddaughters.
I need to show them what a strong woman would do.
A strong woman leaves.
God, give me strength.

Withholding Emotional Support.  The Day My Love For Him Vanished...

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002, after just one year of marriage.
I thought he was the man of my dreams, until I needed him to be a man.
I remember laying on my couch, bald, sick from chemo...
Begging him for emotional support.
His words "I can't support you, we don't know that I don't have cancer, too" cut me like a knife.
My love for him was gone.  Just like that.
To this day, he blames me.  "You wouldn't let me support you".  
Wrong.  I begged him to support me.
Why did I stay?
Fear.